By Catharine Kaufman—a.k.a. The Kitchen Shrink
Most parents realize sooner or later that while threats and bribes tend merely to strengthen kids’ resolve to hold out for takeout pizza and other fast food, a little cunning and subtle tricks will get them to eat their veggies without Dinner Table Battles. Years of experience with my two finicky daughters and their Dad, the even more difficult-to-please Big Kid, have taught me some culinary deviousness that has helped eliminate mealtime drama and food waste and saved my sanity.
“Illustration from Jolene, Adventures of a Junk Food Queen by Catharine Kaufman”
Even now, with college-age girls and my food-wiser mate, I stick to the most successful deceptions, which still disarm the family’s resistance to being fed nourishing and well-balanced meals. Since they probably won’t read this column, I can let you in on the secret: Even the most immature and junk-food-corrupted taste buds can be fooled by edible disguises—just as theatrical costumes and makeup help audiences savor make-believe plays.
I’m sure you’ll agree that, since force-feeding is illegal and sending kids to bed hungry merely helps them skip their veggies, the only safe way to get the proper quantity and balance of nutrition into your kids’ stomachs is through this or some other forms of shameless trickery.
For example, instead of cajoling or coercing youngsters to eat their fresh fruits and vegetables, Jeff Dunn, former Coca-Cola executive turned nutrition guru and “carrot king” at Bolthouse Farms, urges parents to use the same marketing tactics that attract kids (and too many grownups, too, alas) to junk food. While the success of this suggested “training programs” might take some time, at least you are now getting some help from—of all places—the fast food industry, since even its leaderships are beginning to see the handwriting on the wall: “adapt or lose your profits.” So the chains are adding fresh salads, low-fat dressings, chicken breast and other healthier fare to their menus as fast they can and making sure everyone knows by spending lavishly on TV commercials and colorful menus displayed on eye-catching banners inside and outside their establishments.
The Name Game: Take a cue from the merchandisers of Crayola crayons and create fun and funky names for various fruits and vegetables to
amuse preschoolers—such as “wild blue yonder blueberries,” “put-put-plums,” “sweet-water watermelons,” “stringer string-beans,” “green flow
er broccoli,” “cream-flower cauliflower,” (or, thanks to the new hybrids: “purple– or yellow–flower cauliflower”), etc. Horticulturalists have been onboard for a while with ‘fun’ monikers like “cotton candy grapes,” “sugar-snap peas,” “donut
“Illustration from Jolene, Adventures of a Junk Food Queen by Catharine Kaufman”
peaches” and “chocolate peppers.”
Brain Freeze: Wean kids off the lure of ice cream trucks and gelato parlors by freezing certain fruits (such as bananas, grapes, berries and stone fruit—i.e. sliced peaches, nectarines, mangoes—etc.)—and serving them sprinkled with cinnamon, chocolate or nuts; or made into summer treats that surpass any store-bought confection. For example: purée and mold fresh fruit into popsicles; or blend them into Smoothies topped with whipped cream and sprinkles; create dairy-free sorbets with fresh fruits and coconut water or almond milk; chill fruit and chocolate budding for snacks; and let your imagination create other favorites for the warm summer months.
Dip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah: Accommodate kids infatuation with dipping and playing with their foods by melting either sweet or savory fondues of antioxidant-rich dark chocolate or organic cheeses, with companion dippers ranging from dried apricots, bananas, figs and strawberries, to raw or lightly steamed broccoli and cauliflower florets, boiled tiny fingerling potatoes, carrots or asparagus spears.
Masquerade:
- Mashed potatoes—a universal kid-favorite—can be disguised as a Green Monster treat by mashing it with butter-and-garlic-sautéed spinach, kale or broccoli. (It can also be proclaimed a St. Patrick Day treat—even regardless of the calendar.)
- Mashed and buttered cauliflower—flavored with fresh garlic to kill a cold or flu virus or merely for its delicious kick—or baked for a minute or two in a toaster oven with grated cheese, turmeric and herbs, is sure to become a quick-to-disappear snack.
- Puréed green (string) bean soup served cold is often a hit with kids when prepared according to the FreeRangeClub.com recipe (which is listed with proper measurements under ‘Soups’ on this site.)
To give you an idea of what it is, here is a short summary of its ingredients and cooking instructions: Sautée in olive oil chopped onions and garlic; add fresh green beans, mix in and sauté for 1 minute; add water; season with fresh or dry parsley and basil, sweet paprika, turmeric, ginger and salt; cook until green beans are al dente (i.e. cooked but crunchy); take the soup off the heat and cool for 5 minutes; in a blender, whip up a mixture of apple cider vinegar, honey, fresh yogurt and raw egg (don’t worry, the latter will cook instantly in the still hot soup); pour mixture very slowly into still hot soup so egg and yogurt don’t curdle; and let it cool completely. (Adults prefer the soup as it is, but most kids like the ingredients puréed.) Chill soup in the refrigerator and serve as is or with croutons. Soup will stay fresh for a week to 10 days—in fact, its flavors will deepen and be even more delicious every day.
- Mashed potatoes mixed with mushrooms sautéed with olive oil, chopped onions and garlic (as is or whipped to smoothness in food processor to hide ingredients) is a child favorite, thanks to its umami flavor.
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